$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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