On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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