remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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