So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
