you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
