Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
