We're facebook friends in real life
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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