I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
