who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
