So drunk its hurt
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
