those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
