she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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