I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
