Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
