why didn't you poke me back
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
