I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
