I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the condom got lost in my hair
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
