and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
