my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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