No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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