He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
