how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
