Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
3pm strippers are depressing
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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