So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
