idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
