My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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