if only i could text you this smell
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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