My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
