i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
