Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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