They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
