What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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