We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
