Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
This beer is not sobering me up at all
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
