But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
