Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
