i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
