I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We are all done wearing pants today
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
