capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
