hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
