do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
