if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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