I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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