your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
