I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
