the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
