BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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