I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
