I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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