I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
